Editor’s Note:   I say it every time BUT just in case this is your first time swinging through here, here’s what’s up with ‘Forty for Forty‘. Basically, this is a little challenge to myself. Forty posts that say something about my life as I make the run to the big 4-0. This piece was published a few years ago but the sentiment remains the same – if not more meaningful – AND I’ve freshened it up a bit for the occasion. We’re at the halfway mark. Twenty more where this came from.

Hands down, Facebook is the single greatest invention of the 21st century.

Oh sure, some jackass will stroll along in the next year or so and dazzle us all with a flying car or vacuum based hair-styling gizmo, but until that day happens, Facebook rules the roost. Spare me your other websites. I’m not Pinterested. (Hey, this is MySpace®, I can say what I want).

Simply put – it’s the one feat of mental engineering that has allowed all of us to realize that impossible dream of pulling together every awesome personality we’ve ever spent time alongside or whiled away an evening in total, intoxicating conversation – and has allowed us to meet and greet in the same room, no matter how many miles may span between. It’s shrunk the  Earth and evaporated the gulf of time. And it’s a Godsend for cyber stalkers everywhere. That’s WIN-WIN baby!!!

I first joined up about three years ago after attending my cousin Jason’s wedding. He married a California Girl on the West Coast and then they took a flight here to party with his Yankee compadres. At the East Coast reception, I was blitzkrieged on all sides by friends and relations begging me to sign up so they could follow my every move. Living the jet set life, I’m used to the damned paparazzi leaping from every dog house, hen house, boat house and outhouse looking to snap a picture of me and Kate Middleton macking the night away – but this brave new world of electronic surveillance was so new and unusual too me – assuming you forgive those  unfortunate boudoir photos that surfaced a year or so ago. (That wasn’t even me – it was my head on Jennifer Aniston’s body). Anyway, when I retired home that evening, I found an invite from a friend waiting for me in my inbox. I took that as the seventh sign and immediately joined up before the seas boiled and the rivers flowed with blood and the End of Days were upon us. Hey, it’s 2012 and those Mayans have it in for us – you never can be too careful.

In no time flat, I had 198 friends, been nailed with 3,212 virtual snowballs, was sent 18 unsolicited Mai Tais and contracted Scrabulous (which doctors tell me, there is still no cure for). That was a few years ago. These days everyone is trying to either “tag” me or “pin” me – if you ask me, it all just sounds like more sexting.

Now, it’s impossible to get together with absolutely everyone that has resurfaced but that hasn’t stopped groups of us from dreaming it. A couple of years ago, when it seemed like everyone I’d ever met joined up within a day or so of each other, the chorus rang loud and clear. “We’ve got to get together.” Unofficial High School reunions. Dorm gatherings. Prison mixers. All were on the docket. And none materialized. Again, it’s hard to get the stars to realign for 4 people let alone 40. But that doesn’t stop us from wishing and pining for it.

Well, we finally made one of these happen.  In December 2008, a small group of my friends from Rockland High met up in the midst of the holidays for a little R & R at Rock Bottom in Braintree. There were 8 of us – all dudes – hanging at the bar watching the end of the Pats game and bidding a fond adieu to a season that began with that catastrophic Brady collapse and hinged upon the Jets fortunes to make the playoffs. Of course, we all know how that ended. Regardless, our small group had a great time reconnecting and we made a pledge to pull another one together and coax more people put.

Since that time, the Facebook network has grown and I have seen more people shake off the cobwebs of time and materialize as if a day hadn’t  passed (let alone a decade or two). And the refrain recurred in earnest. “We’ve got to get together.”

Once again, we made the impossible a reality – pulling a group of roughly 40 of my former classmates together for an evening of great spirits and good cheer in Boston’s North End on a random Saturday evening in September 2009. Out of our graduating class of 160 or so, we grew our numbers from the 8 that showed the prior winter to 40-ish on that weekend. It was a rousing success; an awesome time was had by all – and any misgivings anyone might have had about getting together after so many revolutions ’round the sun, were quickly dispersed when we realized we left all that silly High School drama back in those musty hallways and just picked things up where we stood now – most of us on the same common ground as adults, peers and parents.

I swear, I am of sound mind and smokin’ body as I write this:

That little Facebook derived non-reunion reunion thing was simply put – FANTASTIC!!! It could not have gone better and I couldn’t have been happier with the turn out. That whole night, I was at the very peak of contentment – full of that special brand of good cheer that goes great with cold beer. You know the feeling – that intoxicating euphoria that takes hold, hard and fast, when you find yourself face-to-face with a long lost friend and instantly feel the years evaporate, the miles shrink, and the sweet, soulful strains of nostalgia stir in your memory as you instantly realize that no matter how many days may pass and how many towns may stand between your Point A and their Point B – you’ll always have an indelible bond, forever tattooed to memory in indelible ink.

Anyway, I hit that sweet spot that night – completely drunk on the good spirits generated by all of them – as our faces beamed, hugs were shared, and we instantly took the time warp back a couple decades past – to a time where the stress of mortgage payments and H1N1 paled in comparison to who could hook you with a ride to Skatetown U.S.A. or pick you up from the Hanover Mall after catching that 10 p.m. showing of License to Drive. And then, at one point, my old friend Jay (a guy who I went to High School with – later college – and then completely lost track of), he darkened the doorway and really made my night. My guess is everyone had someone step from the shadows and make them glad they showed their face, too.

And that was the promise I granted all of them when I etched the original invitation. We were guaranteed to walk away from that evening better for having attended. For repositioning our schedules, jockeying child care and taking one night out to reconnect. Technology has done wonders and we wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for the magic of Facebook – but social networking can’t pull you close and give ya’ a warm embrace.

Like I said, I call it The Impossible Dream – that fantasy land where every single GREAT person that ever waltzed into your life never had to mosey along. Well, that’s just it. It’s a fantasy – a folly – a sweet, blissful dream that comforts you at night. But it’s impossible to make reality. As we’ve spread throughout this grand adventure of life – chasing down our own disparate avenues and roads less traveled, we’ve accumulated vast networks of GREAT people – too numerous to ever contain in one life. So, thankfully, technology has brought us one step closer to realizing the dream. But, it doesn’t mean we can’t secretly harbor those melancholy musings of a grand land where somehow we all coexist and keep those good times rolling.

Each time someone walked through the door of the All Hands Club, my face lit up. It was the rush that comes when confronted with ghosts from your past and seeing the years melt as your brain plays catch up, comes to term with the fact that the mental image you’ve carried all these years of some gangly 16-year old has now morphed into a responsible, mature thirtysomething and yet, in that slightly-aged face – the same “wicked good kid” still resides. We’ve all led extraordinary lives – and it was AWESOME hearing from each of them talk about where their feet have led them – and if I harbored one regret, it’s that there was never enough time in that night (let alone a life) to really catch up PROPER!!! We knew walking in that the evening would come and go in a flash.

Time flies when you’re having fun!!!

I had a blast. Loved it. Loved every single second of the night.

As I led with, this idea was born from Facebook. I know that everytime Mark Zuckerberg threatens to overhaul the site and add some new features, everyone starts shouting to the heavens that we liked it better the way it was. That we’re jumping ship and heading for something new – the next bright light on the horizon. But truth be told – we’ve made a pretty good life here and no matter what changes may come – we ain’t going nowhere. (And with that last sentence – my High School English teachers are grabbing pitch forks and torches and hunting me down.)

No, it doesn’t take the place of real life. We all wear so many hats. On every single day – I’m a loving husband, a doting Dad,  a hard-working employee, a caring friend, and a guy who just wants to make people laugh and take things a little less seriously. That piece is so important to me – because like you, I carry so many stresses and concerns on a daily basis – but if you don’t press that release on the valve, the pressure can weigh hard and heavy. That’s no good for anybody. The ability to reach out to anyone – sometimes for a one-off intimate discussion with a close friend or other times for a long, lengthy chain of witty asides and catty comments – that just adds much needed texture to the day. It’s a great relief. I know some people cry foul and think the site will unravel our Western Civilization but I don’t subscribe to that. I truly believe this Social Network really ties the room together.

And that’s how we make the impossible a reality.