In 2011, I resolve to write on…
And hopefully, my resolution to write for this site on a regular, consistent basis will lure your peepers on over to settle down for a spell and see what’s going on in your Ed’s head.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been taking a little trip down memory lane – looking back at my archives which span close to 500 articles and go all the way back to the winter of 2006. That’s 5 full years in the book, with an average of 100 full-length posts. When printed, I’ve probably written 4 to 5 novels worth of material during that time; a fact that probably has you smacking your head in substitute for mine and saying “Why haven’t you written a novel?”
That’s just not how I roll.
No – I don’t think I have a novel in me. I lack the ties that bind that particular blend of parchment. See, my Blog Posts may meander; offering up 3 page preambles before I finally get to the point. I’m led astray whenever some random thought or quick joke rises above and leads me down another shadowy path; following even the tiniest spark that may shed light upon a new stream of thought. And this loose, free-form bit of writing is really more my speed. Not the type of thing anyone needs clogging up their Kindle.
But it does inform what I live to do on these pages.
Over the years I’ve been paid two very specific compliments that have burrowed deeply.
1. “When I read your Blog, I hear your voice.”
2. “You’re so weird… and that’s a good thing.”
It’s the chicks that have graced me with that second one… and back when I was a young lad; striving to make it with the ladies, that used to level me. Chalk it up to insecurity issues I’ve carried with me my whole life. Hey, I’m not looking for violins – I think we all have some brand of that baggage; it’s just that some of us are better at packing the suitcase while others toss it all in haphazardly and it’s only a matter of time before it all comes spilling out.
Me – I’m probably somewhere in the middle. I’ve got some insecurities that have been with me since childhood. Number one is the self-defense mechanism that’s tripped whenever I encounter critical reaction. That said, I’ve also willed myself to be a bit more level-headed. It’s not a perfect design by any stretch and I have leagues to go before I can keep those neck-hairs from rising the second someone offers up a bit of biting constructive opinion. I relish it but I recoil just as quickly. I think I just always want to be a better person than I am today.
And more importantly; I just want to be liked.
That sounds a little cloying and pathetic when read on the paper, but it’s who I am and indicative of one thing I’ve always done on these pages. Speak honestly. In short, this is my digital diary left out, unlocked, for all the world to read. And I’m cool with that.
I’m sure I’ll harbor that insecure inkling ’til my dying day. Just the way I was manufactured, I suppose.
But it took years for me to see “You’re so weird” and believe the postscript, “That’s a good thing.” At first, I thought weird meant “WEIRD!!!“. Nobody wants to be “WEIRD!!!” – not even serial killers. Hell, as far as they’re concerned, it’s the rest of us who are crazy. But, somewhere along that sprawling map of life, “WEIRD!!!” was swept up by redistricting. Now “WEIRD!!!” meant “Different” meaning the person saying it was expressing their pleasure in meeting someone unique from what they were used to. Someone who could add another splash of color to their own life’s work. Of course, maybe that’s just how I comfort myself.
The point is – “You’re so weird” fused with “When I read something you wrote, I hear your voice.” I’ve had people say that they could read something that I’ve written, with nary a byline, and pick me out of the line-up. That’s because I have a “weird” way of reading the world and reciting it back to you.
So, over December – as I wandered through those archives and came across some of my favorites posts; from sordid tales of streaking past to haunted house-sitting excursions on down to my life with Marley… errrr, Abby; and the close-to-home tales of Colin’s accomplishments and Aria’s follies – I found your Comments took my simple fabric and made a glorious quilt – one I’ve hung high for all the world to see.
A real community had begun to develop here. Some came for Lost and returned to offer up birthday wishes on my annual posts. Others sought trivia and pondered where they’d find my head next. All of you added color to my life.
While I say that I write for myself; I also write for all of you. Personally, I’ve got to get these thoughts down on paper. That’s just the way I’m wired. But as a Level 5 Thetan once said, “you complete me.”
Meaning this site needs someone who’s engaged. An absentee landlord will only result in a house of disrepair. As I looked back over the last year; I spied some highlights for sure, but also wide stretches of nothingness. There’s been a real ebb and flow; but with no real discernible method of tracking those tides, how the hell would any of you know when to stop in for a spell and see what mysteries lurk in The Ed Zone?
So, for 2011, I hereby resolve to write and post 3 articles per week on a fixed schedule. Each Monday, Wednesday and Friday – I will have new material posted by 8:00 a.m. EST. If you stop by on those days, you are guaranteed to have something new to read. I may publish more per week but I can guarantee new material every other business day – starting this Monday January 3rd.
And, as always, I encourage you to lend your voice to the choir by Commenting below each post. You’re making something special here. We’ve got five years in the books – imagine what it will be like when we take the time warp back some 20 years from now and reminisce.
To paraphrase Shawshank; it’s time I get busy living and get busy writing!!!