2. Where the Wild Things Are… Dead (originally published February 2, 2006)
This sordid little tale is true – every twisted letter of it is 100% genuine. And to this day, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Don’t believe me? I’ve been called Dr. Death – the Anti-Doolitle of our times. I’m listed on 100 different watch lists, have had paint tossed on me by PETA and can’t step within 100 yards of a Petco without klaxons blaring. Once again, certain readers of this site can vouch for every last sentence of my account. And if you don’t believe them – ask them if they want me playing with their Gigapets.