Pug Ugly


I ran across this article over at The Onion and thought I’d pass it along as an important safety notice. Hey, this Blog can’t be all Celebrity Miis, all the time. Sometimes I have to serve the public trust.

Anyway, true to form, the master humorists at The Onion have written a pitch-perfect satire of this most inexplicable of dogs. Yes, despite it’s slight stature I do consider these walking fire hydrants, dogs… a status I refuse to bestow upon similarly constructed canines such as chihuahas and the like. Men in Black had it spot on when they pegged this bewildering beast as Alien. These things are not of this Earth.

Part of the reason I posted this is because I’m looking to ferret my Aunt Sharon from the woodwork to get her take. A die-hard pug enthusiast, she is bound to drop the nine-to-five and go all Cindy Sheehan on the staff of The Onion once she gets a load of their missive. Anyway, she can regale us all about her pug posse, but what I know of these two is that Millie is the meek one and Buford apparently lost his re-election for Sheriff of Dade County and is back to burping in Bog Country.

I can’t leave without dropping a little personal intel. I actually have a fondness for pugs – which goes way back to vacations spent at my Nana Pearl’s house. My grandmother had the greatest pug that ever lived, Mischa, who later went on to OD on the O.C. Anyway, Mischa was a great dog who loved kids. You always knew she was around – what with her labored breathing and constant methane production. Throw in those bug eyes and it was kinda’ like having our own personal Rachel Dratch.

Anyway, here’s to the pug. And remember – if you have one of these laying around the house, make sure to check the Born On Date and follow those recall instructions.

Comments now closed (9)

  • My mother (Aunt Sharon) actually forwarded the Onion article to me earlier in the week, so she’s definitely aware of it.

    For fun, here’s a photo of my mom with all three of our pugs.

  • My stepbrother and his wife have a Pugle (I think that’s how it is spelled) which is a Beagle and Pug mix. Apparently they are becoming quite popular. Anyway, I like that model over the Pug, mostly because I like Beagles, which are as small as a dog should ever be. Pugs freak me out too much — must be the alien thing — but all the ones I have met have been pretty nice… Millie and Buford included (haven’t met the new one).

  • Where do I begin….
    I forwarded the Onion article to my many pug-related friends and groups, all of which found it hilarious! Anyone who actually OWNS a pug ( or 2 or 3 or 4…) HAS to have a well established sense of humor, or the beasties would not be comfortably snoozing and SNORING on our beds, cuddled up beside us. The article is cleverly written and so true that it could pass as real. No offense taken!

    Sean, your stepbrother and his wife have a puggle ( note correct spelling!), one of the many attempts at ” designer dogs” by backyard breeders ( BYB’s) or puppymillers. Most BYB’s are just trying to come up with something with a cute name, ie puggles, bugs ( Boston Terrier/pugs), jugs ( jack russell terrier/pugs) and chugs ( chihuahua/pugs) to name a few. The initial reasoning was to try and find a crossbreed ( another name for mutt) that could correct the small breathing apparatus of pugs but keep the gentle nature of a pug. They didn’t take into account that beagles are hunters by nature, a sporting breed, and pugs are couch potatos, a companion breed. The result has 2 very distinctive puggles, one that looks more like a pug with an odd nose, and one that looks like a squished beagle. Unfortunately, the damaged psyche of the 2 breeds has led to an unstable and unpredictable character, and at about 18 months old, they either go nuts and schizoid, or just get a little ADD/OCD, but you can live with it. The ones that look like odd pugs are a little calmer. In my rescue work, we get tons of puggles at just about a year old. People will pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars for these designer mutts, but you can pretty much find them in any rescue organization. I’ve had a couple here, with the same kind of mixed results in temperment. I think the AKC recognized it as a breed, as well as a bunch of other designer breeds, but they would issue registration papers to my cat if I told them it was a new breed of dog. And if you do meet our one year old, the black one named Maximus Decimus Meridius ( anyone?) please address him by his nickname…Hellboy!

    I currently have 4 pugs here, my 3 and a rescue named Randle McMurphy ( again,anyone? ). His owner lost him on Plymouth Beach about 3 weeks ago, did not look for him, and surrendered him after a co-worker saw a flyer and told him his lost dog had been found. We were able to find out that he had never seen a vet, and got his real name ( He was ScoobyToo for awhile, after a favorite foster pug!) The pug belonged to a former girlfriend who blew out of town so fast, she left her dog, and didn’t come back for him.I am now interviewing potential adopters, checking references, and planning home visits to see his new digs…because alot of people are as crazy as I am!

    And when I was a kid, we lived next door to a lady that had 2 of these, and I HATED those damn dogs!!

  • @Aunt Sharon – That was a great write-up and I’m glad you shared it here. So let’s hope someone jumps in here and grabs a pug off ya (not one of your pets – of course – let’s stick to the foster dogs). I love the little bastards and would honestly give it a shot if it weren’t for the fact that I have 140 lbs of Lab Hive Mentality waking me at 6:30 every morning. Plus, there’s the fact that the newbie might find himself rendered a chew toy at some point.

    And don’t worry – I won’t call you the crazy pug lady just yet. You need about 48 more of the little bastards before we get to calling you that…

    52 pugs is, incidentally, also classified as a bona-fide alien invasion. True!

  • Hmm… I’ll have to keep an eye on Bailey then. I think he’s getting close to a year old. He looked more like the squished nose pug version and he is a cute little guy, so I hope he doesn’t go crazy. Oh, and I’m pretty sure they got him from a rescue too, so good for them and him both. I think it is such a shame that pets are abandoned like they are.

    As for Maximus/Hellboy, he looks pretty mischievous in the photo Jason posted. Does he share the same fondness for kitties? 😉

    BTW: Jugs and Chugs strung together like that sounds like a divey gentleman’s club. I couldn’t resist to not add that. Sorry. :mrgreen:

  • Max HATES the cat!

    And I am mentally designing the logo for your new club….what a great name!

  • Let’s not forget my own entrepenuerial endeavor – the stripper barber shop.

    Oh, the name?