That’s it. This flick is officially my new pet project. I mean the thing’s called Snakes on a Plane and with that title – sight unseen – I brazenly declare it, the greatest B movie of all time. I thought Sam ‘The Man’ Jackson already locked that title up with Deep Blue Sea (that Jaws rip-off famous for the scene in which he launches into one of his trademark impassioned soliloquies only to see gall interrupted as a shark appears out of nowhere and chomps him in half.) Deep Blue Sea just sunk a few fathoms as Snakes on the Plane inducts the ‘When Critters Attack’ genre into the Mile High Club.
The Internet is already hissing over this title. A quick check at the IMDB message boards finds fans ravenous – eagerly pontificating on the great badness that only snakes on an actual plane could deliver. I found this passage and I think it nicely sums up the questions we all have in our mind:
CyCo PL: I can’t seem to find any information as to what this movie is about. Somebody told me that it has something to do with planes. Is it a fighter jet movie like Top Gun or Iron Eagle? That would be totally awesome.
Leadsalad: I’m not really a fan of those type of films. My primary interest is in the field of wildlife documentaries, in particular the study of reptilian behavioral patterns in unfamiliar environments. Of course, the idea that a single motion picture could satisfy both demographic niches is quite preposterous. Why, such a film would have to be the greatest film ever made! A man can dream though, a man can dream…
Well said, Leadsalad. You clearly have your finger on the pulse of the popular zeitgeist.
Anyway, I leave you with the following. Some inside Hollywood types have had the opportunity to page through the script and extracted the following lines – surely to be the next great catchphrase. Enjoy!
“AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every f#&king snake on the plane. Accept no substitutes.”
“And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers WITH SNAKE VENOM!!!”
And of course…
“Snakes…… why did it have to be snakes?”